Here I am. Approaching 50. And not the Saturday Night Live “I’m 50!” kind of 50. But fiiiiiifffffftyyyy. It’s the age where you look back fondly at the days that felt “so simple”, but you’re not old enough to be considered an “inspiration” because you went for a walk unsupervised and remembered to change out of your pj’s.
At this age, you question your choices, you swirl in a pool of fear, and you throw your back out flipping the pillow to the cold side (but kind of worth it…ahhh…). I’ve loved, lost love, moved, redecorated, picked up a couple of tattoos, been promoted, been laid off, and am fighting AI walls when I apply for jobs. So, naturally, at nearly 50, I’ve decided to go back to school and get my MBA. Seems like a good idea. Right?
So many people say “40 is the new 30!” So, I guess I’m about to enter my 40’s. Again. I know I’m supposed to say my 40s were the best years of my life, but if 50 is the new 40, I don’t think I want to go through that again. I saw the dress rehearsal. It didn’t go well. It didn’t go bad, but it didn’t go well. I lost my parents in the span of 2 years, I left my beloved Los Angeles to be with my parents before they passed, I was laid off, had multiple health crises, and went through a pandemic. All of us have gone through enough to create our own reality show.
But, I need to flip the script.
I’ve been intending to get my MBA for 10 years now. Following my divorce, I started the process while living in Chicago. Then career changes, home-buying, home-selling, and -40-degree wind gusts pushed me west to California, delaying the journey.
Fast forward to the pandemic. What a perfect time to start!! Is it, though? So, I delayed again.
A year and a half later, my father started his battle with cancer. Just before he passed, I moved to Phoenix to be with him and my mum. Another delay—but one I will never regret. I was with my dad until the end and stayed to support my mum as she began her next chapter without him.
Then I was laid off, along with thousands of other advertising and marketing colleagues. So, I finally did it. I applied to a fully online MBA program in Phoenix and was accepted. I could continue looking for full-time work, take on consulting projects, and still be there for my mum. It would be great!
I was supposed to start my first class in October 2025. Instead, my mum passed unexpectedly the morning I was to start my first class. I was crushed.
But this time, I didn’t delay my plan. I paused it.
To me, a delay has no defined end. A “delay of game” could last hours because of rain, or someone streaking on the field (yes, it happened during the Super Bowl this year). A pause is different. A pause is temporary. It’s a “hydration break” (brought to you by Gatorade). You know the game is going to resume.
And so was I.
I knew this was something I had to stop putting off. I needed to flip the script on my intentions.
It was no longer, “I want to go back to school.”
It was, “I will go back to school.”
So here we are. My first class started in July, but it was more of a “How to be a digital student” course. This is where I learned how to use the online tools, the library, and gain experience in uploading “discussions”. I also was able to download my full class schedule for the entire program. Now I have a graduation date on my horizon! I’ve got highlighters, note cards, reams of paper (Of course I still print out what I can, but I will recycle!), coffee, candy, school t-shirts for game day, discounted Microsoft suite downloaded on my computer, coke (remember, I’m almost 50, not 20… but I like where your head went.)… and my emotional support ice cream squeeze balls and lots of tissues. I’m scared. I’m excited. I’m overwhelmed. I feel guilty for not spending as much time with the dogs. I’m tired…
But I’m here.
I hope you will join me and share your own back-to-school moments with me!!
… Now it’s time to stop neglecting my dogs…. then learn about the history of leadership and organizational behavior, which will come in handy as I manage these three…
This reflection is the author’s original ideas. AI was not used for this submission.
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